Post by Tigertecz on Jul 9, 2009 13:31:24 GMT -5
Things that make you go “hmmm?"[/u]
OK, so forget all the semi-serious articles about power rankings, predictions and whatnot. I wanted to do something a little different, so I went around the league and looked at some oddities in the league, getting exclusive comments from the featured players. This is what I found… a starting five worth of players that make you go hmm… or wtf?! Or huh? etc etc… you get the picture. Kinda like the fainting goats…
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For years now he has been hailed as one of the biggest underachievers in the league based on his ratings, and rightly so too. With those sort of ratings we were all expecting him to put up 20/10 easily, pass the ball well, and play some great D too. He has stayed on the Nuggets for his entire career here in UOSLR, without ever breaking the 20ppg mark or playing the sort of D that justifies his A rating.
Having said that, this season the sleeping giant seems to have woken up! He’s averaging 20.5ppg, 12.4rpg, 4.0apg, 1.1spg and 1.5bpg while leading his Nuggets right to the top of the Western Conference. So far this season he has won two Player of the Week awards while becoming an All Star for the first time putting in a solid 14/10 effort finishing one point behind the West’s top scorer, Allan Houston.
Can he keep this sort of game up, or possibly even improve on it to keep the Nuggets competing for top spot come the Playoffs? When I asked Vlade, he said ,“Of course, mother fucker. I am Vlade Divac. Would you like to buy a designer handbag for your lady friend?”
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Dirk Nowitzki PF 19 7'0'' 247 B- B+ C C+ B A[/u]
[/center]
This big German seems to have had a slow start to his career. Great things were expected of him, but he hasn’t seemed to be able to perform to the best of his ability. He seems distracted all the time. He didn’t even make the Rookie game which was a huge surprise. So what’s up with him? Word has it he’s been hanging out with Seattle’s Steve Nash too much and he’s been a really bad influence.
Apparently Dirk likes to party. He is also currently attending therapy sessions to get over his fear of free throws. We’re not sure what this exactly entails… but David Hasselhoff seems to be the one person he looks up to the most… whatever that means…
When I caught up with Dirk I asked him whether he was happy or not, and his answer was, “OF COURSE I AM HAPPY! I get to party with Steve Nash and crazy white guys like that Atlanta’s number 1 fan fat guy Maxwell kept complaining about! I love that guy! He looks a little different in his picture with Max, but you should see the picture with me! I love him! He smells so nice!” I then asked him what was wrong with him, and asked if he was drunk. He got scared and all of a sudden started singing a David Hasselhoff song.
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Shareef Abdur-Rahim SF 20 6'9'' 229 B+ C+ C B C A[/u]
[/center]
When this year’s draft was up, the majority of people thought Tim Duncan would have been the standout performer of this class. Rightly going #1 overall, he’s helped his Cavaliers make it into the top 3 in the Eastern Conference and is hoping to go far in the post-season. So when news broke of a Rookie averaging 27.3ppg, 6.3rpg, 2.9apg and 1.6spg on 53% shooting by the All Star Break, people may have thought these numbers were attributable to Timmmy D. But no, Duncan’s (only) putting up 17.6ppg and 10.1rpg, surprisingly not showing the sort of defensive monstrousness we expected from him at power forward.
Meanwhile, it was another forward who has been grabbing the headlines by producing those numbers – Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Very unexpected. He was even joint-top scorer on his team in the Rookie Game with 14pts and 7rebs and ended up on the cover of Slam magazine.
When I asked Reef how the hell he was putting up such monstrous numbers and seemingly being way ahead of the rest of his Rookie class, he said, “Simple, I snack a lot. The secret to being a great athlete, is snacking. One day some crazy fool from the Jamaica or something is going to blow the world away with his athleticism, and if you ask him what sort of diet he has, he’ll say chicken nuggets or something. Mark my words, he’ll even go on to be a world record holder or two… or three.”
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Vernon Maxwell SG 32 6'4'' 180 B- A B- A D+ B[/u]
[/center]
What happened in Atlanta? Vernon Maxwell improved somewhat dramatically in TC, and Atlanta looked to have a Championship contending team. Hawks GM, Chipper, went on to post a block for the future Eastern Conference Champs but we all might be waiting for many years before that holds true! It seemed as though Vernon Maxwell was cursing the team. He put up good numbers, although not quite the near 30ppg scorer he was in the last couple of seasons, and played good D, and yet, the Hawks hovered at the bottom of the Eastern Conference.
It is well known that he has always dreamed of playing for the Chicago Bulls, and wanted out of Atlanta. He admired the wonder that is Etienne Preira and wanted to play alongside him to produce one of the deadliest backcourts in the league. His wish was finally granted after Chipper gave in, and Maxwell has already gelled with Chicago’s system well by scoring 62 points in 2 games for the Bulls so far already.
When I asked him how he felt about his time in Atlanta, this was what he said, “I hate that place. It’s all because of the GM too. Chipper made me share rooms with this fat white guy when we were on the road and he really smells bad… but Chipper said he was the Hawks number 1 fan and should get to spend some “quality time” with me. I did not like this.”
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Victor Page PG 22 6'3'' 205 C B- B+ C C D
Speaking of surprising Rookies… In the Rookie Game this season the talented Sophomores were beaten by 9 points. One would have thought it would be Tim Duncan that would lead his Rookies to the win if anyone, if not, possibly Shareef Abdur-Rahim, considering his fantastic numbers this season. Turns out it wasn’t Reef, and it wasn’t Timmy either, but it was another Cleveland Cavalier. A fella named Victor Page ended up as the Rookie game MVP with 14pts, 3rebs and 7asts, prompting GM cries of “Who?”, “WTF?” and a good ol’ “huh?”
After doing some research on this man, I found out he was a Georgetown baller obsessed with street-life and who had a bad rep outside the game for certain “incidents” involving cocaine and weapon possession. Taken 5th overall in the 2nd round of the draft, his performance in the Rookie Game was one of his best all season, as it was only one shy of his career high standing at an outstanding 15 points. He’s a crappy player ratings-wise and also stat-wise apparently, yet he still managed to feature in the All Star Weekend festivities.
I spoke to him and asked him who he modelled his game on and what’s inspiring him, his reply was “Um… I dunno… I guess I kinda model my game on the DC streetballers I grew up, but I’m also inspired by Tony Montana from Scarface. I also really like pirates. I saw Hook at the cinema a few years back… damn I love me some pirates”
OK, so forget all the semi-serious articles about power rankings, predictions and whatnot. I wanted to do something a little different, so I went around the league and looked at some oddities in the league, getting exclusive comments from the featured players. This is what I found… a starting five worth of players that make you go hmm… or wtf?! Or huh? etc etc… you get the picture. Kinda like the fainting goats…
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vlade Divac C 29 6'11'' 256 B- C B- A A- C
[/u]Vlade Divac C 29 6'11'' 256 B- C B- A A- C
[/center]For years now he has been hailed as one of the biggest underachievers in the league based on his ratings, and rightly so too. With those sort of ratings we were all expecting him to put up 20/10 easily, pass the ball well, and play some great D too. He has stayed on the Nuggets for his entire career here in UOSLR, without ever breaking the 20ppg mark or playing the sort of D that justifies his A rating.
Having said that, this season the sleeping giant seems to have woken up! He’s averaging 20.5ppg, 12.4rpg, 4.0apg, 1.1spg and 1.5bpg while leading his Nuggets right to the top of the Western Conference. So far this season he has won two Player of the Week awards while becoming an All Star for the first time putting in a solid 14/10 effort finishing one point behind the West’s top scorer, Allan Houston.
Can he keep this sort of game up, or possibly even improve on it to keep the Nuggets competing for top spot come the Playoffs? When I asked Vlade, he said ,“Of course, mother fucker. I am Vlade Divac. Would you like to buy a designer handbag for your lady friend?”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dirk Nowitzki PF 19 7'0'' 247 B- B+ C C+ B A
[/center]This big German seems to have had a slow start to his career. Great things were expected of him, but he hasn’t seemed to be able to perform to the best of his ability. He seems distracted all the time. He didn’t even make the Rookie game which was a huge surprise. So what’s up with him? Word has it he’s been hanging out with Seattle’s Steve Nash too much and he’s been a really bad influence.
Apparently Dirk likes to party. He is also currently attending therapy sessions to get over his fear of free throws. We’re not sure what this exactly entails… but David Hasselhoff seems to be the one person he looks up to the most… whatever that means…
When I caught up with Dirk I asked him whether he was happy or not, and his answer was, “OF COURSE I AM HAPPY! I get to party with Steve Nash and crazy white guys like that Atlanta’s number 1 fan fat guy Maxwell kept complaining about! I love that guy! He looks a little different in his picture with Max, but you should see the picture with me! I love him! He smells so nice!” I then asked him what was wrong with him, and asked if he was drunk. He got scared and all of a sudden started singing a David Hasselhoff song.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Shareef Abdur-Rahim SF 20 6'9'' 229 B+ C+ C B C A
[/center]When this year’s draft was up, the majority of people thought Tim Duncan would have been the standout performer of this class. Rightly going #1 overall, he’s helped his Cavaliers make it into the top 3 in the Eastern Conference and is hoping to go far in the post-season. So when news broke of a Rookie averaging 27.3ppg, 6.3rpg, 2.9apg and 1.6spg on 53% shooting by the All Star Break, people may have thought these numbers were attributable to Timmmy D. But no, Duncan’s (only) putting up 17.6ppg and 10.1rpg, surprisingly not showing the sort of defensive monstrousness we expected from him at power forward.
Meanwhile, it was another forward who has been grabbing the headlines by producing those numbers – Shareef Abdur-Rahim. Very unexpected. He was even joint-top scorer on his team in the Rookie Game with 14pts and 7rebs and ended up on the cover of Slam magazine.
When I asked Reef how the hell he was putting up such monstrous numbers and seemingly being way ahead of the rest of his Rookie class, he said, “Simple, I snack a lot. The secret to being a great athlete, is snacking. One day some crazy fool from the Jamaica or something is going to blow the world away with his athleticism, and if you ask him what sort of diet he has, he’ll say chicken nuggets or something. Mark my words, he’ll even go on to be a world record holder or two… or three.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Vernon Maxwell SG 32 6'4'' 180 B- A B- A D+ B
[/center]What happened in Atlanta? Vernon Maxwell improved somewhat dramatically in TC, and Atlanta looked to have a Championship contending team. Hawks GM, Chipper, went on to post a block for the future Eastern Conference Champs but we all might be waiting for many years before that holds true! It seemed as though Vernon Maxwell was cursing the team. He put up good numbers, although not quite the near 30ppg scorer he was in the last couple of seasons, and played good D, and yet, the Hawks hovered at the bottom of the Eastern Conference.
It is well known that he has always dreamed of playing for the Chicago Bulls, and wanted out of Atlanta. He admired the wonder that is Etienne Preira and wanted to play alongside him to produce one of the deadliest backcourts in the league. His wish was finally granted after Chipper gave in, and Maxwell has already gelled with Chicago’s system well by scoring 62 points in 2 games for the Bulls so far already.
When I asked him how he felt about his time in Atlanta, this was what he said, “I hate that place. It’s all because of the GM too. Chipper made me share rooms with this fat white guy when we were on the road and he really smells bad… but Chipper said he was the Hawks number 1 fan and should get to spend some “quality time” with me. I did not like this.”
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Victor Page PG 22 6'3'' 205 C B- B+ C C D
Speaking of surprising Rookies… In the Rookie Game this season the talented Sophomores were beaten by 9 points. One would have thought it would be Tim Duncan that would lead his Rookies to the win if anyone, if not, possibly Shareef Abdur-Rahim, considering his fantastic numbers this season. Turns out it wasn’t Reef, and it wasn’t Timmy either, but it was another Cleveland Cavalier. A fella named Victor Page ended up as the Rookie game MVP with 14pts, 3rebs and 7asts, prompting GM cries of “Who?”, “WTF?” and a good ol’ “huh?”
After doing some research on this man, I found out he was a Georgetown baller obsessed with street-life and who had a bad rep outside the game for certain “incidents” involving cocaine and weapon possession. Taken 5th overall in the 2nd round of the draft, his performance in the Rookie Game was one of his best all season, as it was only one shy of his career high standing at an outstanding 15 points. He’s a crappy player ratings-wise and also stat-wise apparently, yet he still managed to feature in the All Star Weekend festivities.
I spoke to him and asked him who he modelled his game on and what’s inspiring him, his reply was “Um… I dunno… I guess I kinda model my game on the DC streetballers I grew up, but I’m also inspired by Tony Montana from Scarface. I also really like pirates. I saw Hook at the cinema a few years back… damn I love me some pirates”
