Post by Kruwaukee on Oct 16, 2009 17:58:43 GMT -5
Yes they are back and we have a very good and controversial edition. So many great teams out there this season its hard to peg who is better than who but we did the tough task and put them in order. So if you're unhappy with your ranking, state your case gangster.
29. Los Angeles Lakers- The Lakers check in with the worst team in the league by design. They have completely gutted everyone on their roster. I guess when we came out with the draft ratings and talked about trading in your Lakers' jersey for a Clippers one must have really opened ownership's eyes. They suck worse than a Ben Afflect flick.
28. San Antonio Spurs- The Spurs really shook things up this offseason and have a completely new look and direction. Fans are a little disappointed after Tim Cowlishaw reported that ownership was committed to bringing a championship to San Antonio. The team looks like a high school JV team compared to the rest of the league. The fans were calling the owner two faced and ironically he changed his name to, "Play." Perhaps he should have changed it to "Play Bad"
27. Washington Bullets- So they emptied out the clip and finally went all out rebuild mode shipping off Chris Webber for young gun Tracy McGrady. The Bullets have a promising future with high flyers T-Mac and J-Rich but right now their skill doesn't match their potential.
26. Boston Celtics- They'd suggest otherwise but the Celtics are really pushing to be the worst franchise in the league. At least the Lakers, Spurs, and Bullets are trying to be bad but the Celtics aren't as fortunate. Instead of accepting the bad move of signing Danilovic and losing Jordan in free agency, they added insult to injury by dealing him along with future considerations for nothing then realized that was a poor move and gave up more future considerations to get a lesser caliber player to make up for the loss. As Homer Simpson would say, "Doh!"
25. New Jersey Nets- The Nets are really a true testament to what a good strategy and depth chart can do for you. I've been amazed at the way they have won for the past few seasons with what I've thought to be sub par talent. With that being said, Chauncey Billups must be one hell of a player.
24. Toronto Raptors- The Raptors are still recovering from the Jordan hangover but as the old saying goes the only way to cure a hangover is either time or more Booz. Well the Raptors have both as they drafted Carlos Boozer and have some time to rebuild. They should lower their asking price for their vets so they can dump them and do worse in the standings.
23. Los Angeles Clippers Well they can't let the Lakers suckiness steal all the headlines. So the Clippers are doing their part after they let Dirk Nowitzki see his walking papers as he traveled in state to Sacremento. Things are not good in LA
22. Denver Nuggets- Well the standings wouldn't dictate them to be this low but they are bad, real bad! They should slide down the rocky mountain really quickly. This team is just bad, real bad.
21.Golden State Warriors- Wow is the Pacific that bad that the Golden State Warriors are the division leaders. The Warriors have some nice young players but are pretty far away from being a legitimate team. It's going to be fun to see how good Gilbert Arenas will be. We're hoping he's a stud.
20. Charlotte Hornets- Larry Johnson is back for round 2 with the Hornets but it must sting him that they suck. GM Mike should know that sequels are never good as the original and Jordan is not as good playing PG. They could be better than what they currently are.
19. Phoenix Suns- After last years cinderella run....
18. Portland Trailblazers- There is no bigger disappointment than the Portland Trailblazers. Everyone in Oregon was going crazy after they landed #1 in the lotto to get Kevin Garnett and they really dropped the ball as GM Outlawz felt the team didn't need to practice.
17. Orlando Magic- The Magic need to reach into their bag of tricks and pull out a trade. This team has a lot of talent but not everyone can play. Its time that they pull a big time trade and start making this franchise into a winner before all their guys cash in and they wind up losing them.
16. Atlanta Hawks- The Hawks are back.....to mediocrity. Lets start the countdown before they start rebuilding again. The odds are set at Day 80....who's betting?
15. Utah Jazz- Do you hear that? It's the sweet tunes of Shawn Kemp's revival. Thats right he is leading the league in rebounding. The Jazz got something that is quietly coming together in Utah. Watch out for them.
14. Sacremento Kings- The Kings won the Dirk sweepstakes and had a solid draft and were surprising buyers in the free agent market. Believe it or not it looks like the Kings are going to make the playoffs. Weird, I know.
13. Detroit Pistons-Tony Parker already has 10 technical fouls in his early career. Apparently the frenchman has a foul mouth and bad temper. Ron Artest said of his teammate, "Yea Tony is one bad man. I like it" Spoken like a true warrior Ron Ron.
12. Indiana Pacer-Miner Mania! It's running wild and you can't stop it. This man is a one man wrecking crew. Who knew? Maybe the Pacers should have given him the damn ball a little more when they had Mash, Longley, Roberts, and Danilovic. Damn they lost a shit load of talent.
11. Seattle Supersonics- The dynamite goes BOOM! Looks like the Sonics run and gun style is struggling without a big man presence. How did they let not 1, 2, but 3 of their big men walk? The Sonics need to get proactive and start stepping up if they plan to continue their dominance out west. It's definitely still possible.
10. Minnesota Timberwolves- The T-Wolves have something special in Jason Kidd and Allan Houston problem is they are either too lazy or too stubborn to part ways with Hakeem Olajuwon to gain much needed depth for their team. Karl Malone should be sent his walking papers too. Expect them to keep slipping.
9. Houston Rockets- The Rockets have launched up the standings this season as Vince Carter has taken one small step (even though he is allowed two before traveling) to dunk and one giant step for Rocket kind. It should be fun to see them to continue to build up that front court to compliment their back. (yes we expect complaints from ducky)
8. New York Knicks- It's funny how things work for Mr. Magoo owner Dan Basone. He tries to win and he loses, he tries to lose and he wins. He signs some guys to trade away and they wind up being awesome. They are one of the most athletic teams in the league with Marion, Camby, Jefferson, and Brandon. The real success to the team though is Zhi Zhi Wang. GM Basone told Lenn Robbins of the NY Post, "I didn't think I could fit big Wang into my system but ever since Wang was inserted I just can't seem to get enough of big Wang without wanting more"
7. Dallas Mavericks- See what an active GM can do for you? Idle hour is over and Kobe24's time to shine. Everything was shook up in Dallas and its seeming to work out. The future of Kenyon Martin and Tracy McGrady were sent packing and a veteran group of Stanley Roberts, Chris Webber, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Ron Harper, and Damon Stoudemire rounds out the starting five.
6. Cleveland Cavilers- The Cavs are one of the most underachieving franchises in the history of UOSLR. Nick Anderson's storied career has mostly been wasted in one of the most boring towns. Why would you ever want to sign a contract to play in Cleveland?
5. Philadelphia 76ers- It's not always sunny in Philadelphia. It may appear they are the best team in the league right now. Right now being key word but they're not going to hold up once they start playing the power houses of the league. One thing is for sure we think Stephen "Dayman" Jackson is badass. He even has his own theme song.
4. Vancouver Grizzlies- The leaders of the West the Vancouver Grizzlies have been in this position before winning a title 2 seasons ago. Many question if they can do it again and they're sure trying. David Robinson said he is going to deliver a ring or die trying. Yup its 2002 and I have a time machine and 50 cent really stole this line from the admiral David Robinson.
3. Miami Heat- What a turn around the Heat had this offseason. They added Ron Mercer to compliment Kobe's new found scoring and added Dale Davis via trade. The fact is that Kobe Bryant has arrived and he is ready to move out of the shadows of anyone in his way.
2. Chicago Bulls- The United Center is now the largest nursing home in the city of Chicago. Dennis Rodman 40, Charles Barkley 38, Scottie Pippen 36, Vernon Maxwell 36, Dikembe Mutombo 34 all can still ball but they are spending a whole lot more time in the training room than they are on the court. Ice Packs have raised Chicagians taxes by .02% Don't be fooled though as long as Priera is breathing the Bulls have a shot to hold the trophy at the end of the season.
1. Milwaukee Bucks- The Bucks addressed their weaknesses this offseason by getting some front court help via draft and free agency with Eddie Griffin and Duane Causwell. Also Grant Hill and Ray Allen are scoring the ball very efficiently combining for 45 points per game and 50% shooting.
You can easily rotate and interchange the top 4 teams but as the season stands, matchups, and overall team statistics this is where I rank the teams. Lets the discussion begin.
29. Los Angeles Lakers- The Lakers check in with the worst team in the league by design. They have completely gutted everyone on their roster. I guess when we came out with the draft ratings and talked about trading in your Lakers' jersey for a Clippers one must have really opened ownership's eyes. They suck worse than a Ben Afflect flick.
28. San Antonio Spurs- The Spurs really shook things up this offseason and have a completely new look and direction. Fans are a little disappointed after Tim Cowlishaw reported that ownership was committed to bringing a championship to San Antonio. The team looks like a high school JV team compared to the rest of the league. The fans were calling the owner two faced and ironically he changed his name to, "Play." Perhaps he should have changed it to "Play Bad"
27. Washington Bullets- So they emptied out the clip and finally went all out rebuild mode shipping off Chris Webber for young gun Tracy McGrady. The Bullets have a promising future with high flyers T-Mac and J-Rich but right now their skill doesn't match their potential.
26. Boston Celtics- They'd suggest otherwise but the Celtics are really pushing to be the worst franchise in the league. At least the Lakers, Spurs, and Bullets are trying to be bad but the Celtics aren't as fortunate. Instead of accepting the bad move of signing Danilovic and losing Jordan in free agency, they added insult to injury by dealing him along with future considerations for nothing then realized that was a poor move and gave up more future considerations to get a lesser caliber player to make up for the loss. As Homer Simpson would say, "Doh!"
25. New Jersey Nets- The Nets are really a true testament to what a good strategy and depth chart can do for you. I've been amazed at the way they have won for the past few seasons with what I've thought to be sub par talent. With that being said, Chauncey Billups must be one hell of a player.
24. Toronto Raptors- The Raptors are still recovering from the Jordan hangover but as the old saying goes the only way to cure a hangover is either time or more Booz. Well the Raptors have both as they drafted Carlos Boozer and have some time to rebuild. They should lower their asking price for their vets so they can dump them and do worse in the standings.
23. Los Angeles Clippers Well they can't let the Lakers suckiness steal all the headlines. So the Clippers are doing their part after they let Dirk Nowitzki see his walking papers as he traveled in state to Sacremento. Things are not good in LA
22. Denver Nuggets- Well the standings wouldn't dictate them to be this low but they are bad, real bad! They should slide down the rocky mountain really quickly. This team is just bad, real bad.
21.Golden State Warriors- Wow is the Pacific that bad that the Golden State Warriors are the division leaders. The Warriors have some nice young players but are pretty far away from being a legitimate team. It's going to be fun to see how good Gilbert Arenas will be. We're hoping he's a stud.
20. Charlotte Hornets- Larry Johnson is back for round 2 with the Hornets but it must sting him that they suck. GM Mike should know that sequels are never good as the original and Jordan is not as good playing PG. They could be better than what they currently are.
19. Phoenix Suns- After last years cinderella run....
18. Portland Trailblazers- There is no bigger disappointment than the Portland Trailblazers. Everyone in Oregon was going crazy after they landed #1 in the lotto to get Kevin Garnett and they really dropped the ball as GM Outlawz felt the team didn't need to practice.
17. Orlando Magic- The Magic need to reach into their bag of tricks and pull out a trade. This team has a lot of talent but not everyone can play. Its time that they pull a big time trade and start making this franchise into a winner before all their guys cash in and they wind up losing them.
16. Atlanta Hawks- The Hawks are back.....to mediocrity. Lets start the countdown before they start rebuilding again. The odds are set at Day 80....who's betting?
15. Utah Jazz- Do you hear that? It's the sweet tunes of Shawn Kemp's revival. Thats right he is leading the league in rebounding. The Jazz got something that is quietly coming together in Utah. Watch out for them.
14. Sacremento Kings- The Kings won the Dirk sweepstakes and had a solid draft and were surprising buyers in the free agent market. Believe it or not it looks like the Kings are going to make the playoffs. Weird, I know.
13. Detroit Pistons-Tony Parker already has 10 technical fouls in his early career. Apparently the frenchman has a foul mouth and bad temper. Ron Artest said of his teammate, "Yea Tony is one bad man. I like it" Spoken like a true warrior Ron Ron.
12. Indiana Pacer-Miner Mania! It's running wild and you can't stop it. This man is a one man wrecking crew. Who knew? Maybe the Pacers should have given him the damn ball a little more when they had Mash, Longley, Roberts, and Danilovic. Damn they lost a shit load of talent.
11. Seattle Supersonics- The dynamite goes BOOM! Looks like the Sonics run and gun style is struggling without a big man presence. How did they let not 1, 2, but 3 of their big men walk? The Sonics need to get proactive and start stepping up if they plan to continue their dominance out west. It's definitely still possible.
10. Minnesota Timberwolves- The T-Wolves have something special in Jason Kidd and Allan Houston problem is they are either too lazy or too stubborn to part ways with Hakeem Olajuwon to gain much needed depth for their team. Karl Malone should be sent his walking papers too. Expect them to keep slipping.
9. Houston Rockets- The Rockets have launched up the standings this season as Vince Carter has taken one small step (even though he is allowed two before traveling) to dunk and one giant step for Rocket kind. It should be fun to see them to continue to build up that front court to compliment their back. (yes we expect complaints from ducky)
8. New York Knicks- It's funny how things work for Mr. Magoo owner Dan Basone. He tries to win and he loses, he tries to lose and he wins. He signs some guys to trade away and they wind up being awesome. They are one of the most athletic teams in the league with Marion, Camby, Jefferson, and Brandon. The real success to the team though is Zhi Zhi Wang. GM Basone told Lenn Robbins of the NY Post, "I didn't think I could fit big Wang into my system but ever since Wang was inserted I just can't seem to get enough of big Wang without wanting more"
7. Dallas Mavericks- See what an active GM can do for you? Idle hour is over and Kobe24's time to shine. Everything was shook up in Dallas and its seeming to work out. The future of Kenyon Martin and Tracy McGrady were sent packing and a veteran group of Stanley Roberts, Chris Webber, Shareef Abdur-Rahim, Ron Harper, and Damon Stoudemire rounds out the starting five.
6. Cleveland Cavilers- The Cavs are one of the most underachieving franchises in the history of UOSLR. Nick Anderson's storied career has mostly been wasted in one of the most boring towns. Why would you ever want to sign a contract to play in Cleveland?
5. Philadelphia 76ers- It's not always sunny in Philadelphia. It may appear they are the best team in the league right now. Right now being key word but they're not going to hold up once they start playing the power houses of the league. One thing is for sure we think Stephen "Dayman" Jackson is badass. He even has his own theme song.
4. Vancouver Grizzlies- The leaders of the West the Vancouver Grizzlies have been in this position before winning a title 2 seasons ago. Many question if they can do it again and they're sure trying. David Robinson said he is going to deliver a ring or die trying. Yup its 2002 and I have a time machine and 50 cent really stole this line from the admiral David Robinson.
3. Miami Heat- What a turn around the Heat had this offseason. They added Ron Mercer to compliment Kobe's new found scoring and added Dale Davis via trade. The fact is that Kobe Bryant has arrived and he is ready to move out of the shadows of anyone in his way.
2. Chicago Bulls- The United Center is now the largest nursing home in the city of Chicago. Dennis Rodman 40, Charles Barkley 38, Scottie Pippen 36, Vernon Maxwell 36, Dikembe Mutombo 34 all can still ball but they are spending a whole lot more time in the training room than they are on the court. Ice Packs have raised Chicagians taxes by .02% Don't be fooled though as long as Priera is breathing the Bulls have a shot to hold the trophy at the end of the season.
1. Milwaukee Bucks- The Bucks addressed their weaknesses this offseason by getting some front court help via draft and free agency with Eddie Griffin and Duane Causwell. Also Grant Hill and Ray Allen are scoring the ball very efficiently combining for 45 points per game and 50% shooting.
You can easily rotate and interchange the top 4 teams but as the season stands, matchups, and overall team statistics this is where I rank the teams. Lets the discussion begin.
