Post by Kruwaukee on May 22, 2010 6:17:52 GMT -5
UOSLR has seen many greats over the years who have left their Nike imprint in all of our hearts (some Reeboks too and one Converse). We've seen franchises built into dynastys and others who have crumbled never rising to greatness. Many teams think they draft the next hall of famer every season but most of the times they get a bust. Only very few become great and even fewer are elite. Lets take a look at those who have graced the harddrive's of all our computers.
Larry Johnson SF 6'7''
Larry "Grandma ma" Johnson was a legend. He was the #1 pick for the Hornets back in 1991 and changed the game forever. He led the Hornets to two championships and chances are he would have led them to more if Spencer didn't break up the dynasty. He was a crazy scorer who was relentless from both the inside as well as outside. He wasn't known as a shooter coming into the league but he was an A shooter when he retired. He was the one Converse who stole the heart of all of us. Larry Johnson this buds for you!
Dikembe Mutombo- C 7'2''
Dikembe Mutumbo made giving someone the finger iconic as you blocked a shot. Get that shit out of here. (finger wave). He was always a big time defensive player since day 1 when he was in the league. However he was only an All-Star while he was on the Magic but he became a superstud when he arrived in the windy city of Chicago. Mutombo was the missing piece for the Bulls dynasty run fueled by EP but Mutombo was the finger that stirred the drink and also blocked shots. He will forever be known as the renowned big man out of Georgetown who has enough rings to own a pawn shop. So Dikembe Mutmbo this buds for you.
Alonzo Mourning- C 6'10''
Zo knows! Alonzo was paired along side Larry Johnson to make one of the most dynamic front court duos ever in UOSLR. Zo was a force in the league both offensively and defensively. He was most well known probably for his 4 sex tapes that came out with hollywood actresses. What was more impressive is he didn't play in any hollywood or major city markets and was still banging these super hot hollywood stars and recording it on tape. Zo knows. Alonzo this buds for you!
Shaq- C 7'1'' 300
Shaq was cursed in the beginning of his career thought to be the Karl Malone of the modern world. However he overcame that with community service. The face of UOSLR cares Shaq logged 100,000 hours of community service helping the homeless and elderly while breaking backboards in the process. Shaq is the leagues all time dunk leader amassing 50,000 slamma jammas. Bill Walton would be proud. Throw it down big man. Shaq this buds for you.
Chris Webber- PF 6'10'' 260
Chris Webbers career was almost cut short when it was rumored he was running with Tupac in gang related activity. Some still think that Chris Webber is responsible for the death of Biggie Smalls, whose birthday was yesterday, but there is no factual evidence linking Webber to the murders except a secret message on Webber's debut rap album I put Biggie in the ground. Webber was a uber talented big man who could score as well as pass. We'll miss his razzle dazzle down low. CWebb this buds for you.
Allan Houston- SG 6'6'' 200
The smoothest player ever. Allan H20 Houston was always raining 3's but his H20 nickname stems from him making love with the ladies. Allan Houston has 33 kids with 19 different women. Thats the reason he stayed in the league so long was to pay off all that child support. He was on the hook for 18 years on 33 kids. Damn! Didn't anyone teach Houston to wear a condom? The all time 3's leader scored a bundle of points and was productive up until his last season when he was 38 years old. Allan Houston and your 33 kids these buds are for you.
That officially wraps up the 2011 Hall of Fame inductees. I hope you enjoyed reading these crazy speeches and after all these buds for each inductee I'm pretty drunk. This last buds for.....Zzzzzz
Larry Johnson SF 6'7''
Larry "Grandma ma" Johnson was a legend. He was the #1 pick for the Hornets back in 1991 and changed the game forever. He led the Hornets to two championships and chances are he would have led them to more if Spencer didn't break up the dynasty. He was a crazy scorer who was relentless from both the inside as well as outside. He wasn't known as a shooter coming into the league but he was an A shooter when he retired. He was the one Converse who stole the heart of all of us. Larry Johnson this buds for you!
Dikembe Mutombo- C 7'2''
Dikembe Mutumbo made giving someone the finger iconic as you blocked a shot. Get that shit out of here. (finger wave). He was always a big time defensive player since day 1 when he was in the league. However he was only an All-Star while he was on the Magic but he became a superstud when he arrived in the windy city of Chicago. Mutombo was the missing piece for the Bulls dynasty run fueled by EP but Mutombo was the finger that stirred the drink and also blocked shots. He will forever be known as the renowned big man out of Georgetown who has enough rings to own a pawn shop. So Dikembe Mutmbo this buds for you.
Alonzo Mourning- C 6'10''
Zo knows! Alonzo was paired along side Larry Johnson to make one of the most dynamic front court duos ever in UOSLR. Zo was a force in the league both offensively and defensively. He was most well known probably for his 4 sex tapes that came out with hollywood actresses. What was more impressive is he didn't play in any hollywood or major city markets and was still banging these super hot hollywood stars and recording it on tape. Zo knows. Alonzo this buds for you!
Shaq- C 7'1'' 300
Shaq was cursed in the beginning of his career thought to be the Karl Malone of the modern world. However he overcame that with community service. The face of UOSLR cares Shaq logged 100,000 hours of community service helping the homeless and elderly while breaking backboards in the process. Shaq is the leagues all time dunk leader amassing 50,000 slamma jammas. Bill Walton would be proud. Throw it down big man. Shaq this buds for you.
Chris Webber- PF 6'10'' 260
Chris Webbers career was almost cut short when it was rumored he was running with Tupac in gang related activity. Some still think that Chris Webber is responsible for the death of Biggie Smalls, whose birthday was yesterday, but there is no factual evidence linking Webber to the murders except a secret message on Webber's debut rap album I put Biggie in the ground. Webber was a uber talented big man who could score as well as pass. We'll miss his razzle dazzle down low. CWebb this buds for you.
Allan Houston- SG 6'6'' 200
The smoothest player ever. Allan H20 Houston was always raining 3's but his H20 nickname stems from him making love with the ladies. Allan Houston has 33 kids with 19 different women. Thats the reason he stayed in the league so long was to pay off all that child support. He was on the hook for 18 years on 33 kids. Damn! Didn't anyone teach Houston to wear a condom? The all time 3's leader scored a bundle of points and was productive up until his last season when he was 38 years old. Allan Houston and your 33 kids these buds are for you.
That officially wraps up the 2011 Hall of Fame inductees. I hope you enjoyed reading these crazy speeches and after all these buds for each inductee I'm pretty drunk. This last buds for.....Zzzzzz
